Australia Confirmed as Full Blown Arseholes

The International Arsehole Commission has confirmed that Cricket Australia is now at a level where everyone can refer to them as arseholes. Previous calls earlier in the test series, when David Warner was just being an arsehole on his own, had led a few sections of the population to declare the whole team as arseholes,…

Jones Wants Barnes To Ref All Of England’s Games

England Rugby are to approach World Rugby to see if Wayne Barnes can ref some, if not all, of their future games. In light of recent results, Eddie Jones is said to feel that Barnes could well penalise the opposition a bit more than England, therefore making them look a lot less shit than they…

Scottish People Still Finding Saturday Really, Really Funny

Things may be pretty much returning to normal south of the border but up in Scotland, people are still pissing themselves laughing when they think of what happened at Murrayfield on Saturday. Certain businesses are struggling to get a huge amount done, bus stops are erupting into fits of giggles, and shopkeepers are even reporting…

Jones To Fight Gatland at Halftime

Eddie Jones and Warren Gatland will fight each other at halftime in the game between England and Wales at Twickenham this weekend, the Six Nations is delighted to announce. In a unprecedented step, both country’s governing bodies have ratified the contest, the first officially recognised fight to take place between head coaches from opposing international…

UK Business Responds Badly to Six Nations Squad Announcement Week

UK Business Heads have declared this an ‘uncertain week’ as international head coaches announce their Six Nations rugby squads. Having already been weighed down by serious tosspottery in Europe and the impending self sodomy being exhibited in the US, business leaders have been handed another blow with the news that fuck all work is going…

Questions About Europe For English

The Italian Rugby Federation is among a growing group of people who are questioning the involvement of English teams in European Champions Cup Rugby. After a dire weekend for Aviva Premiership sides (which included seven losses against French, Irish and even Welsh opposition), their place in the competition has come under serious scrutiny. “Issa not…

Popular Jones Should Be In Charge Of Everything

Eddie Jones, the England Rugby Head Coach, should be put in charge of everything says one British MP. Ian Cornerflag is the Member of Parliament for Bishops Widget in Shropshire and has seen enough from the England Rugby Coach to suggest things would be a lot better with him in charge of pretty much everything….

Blaine Says He Wants To Know How Diamond Does it

David Blaine the magician and mind powers supremo has hailed Steve Diamond, the Director of Rugby of Sale Sharks, as something of a phenomenon. Speaking outside his Hollywood home, Blaine who has wowed the world with his general devilment and witchcraft, claimed that Diamond was someone he’d like to learn from. “Man, I’ve seen some…

Jones Struggling To Not Pick Armand

Eddie Jones has just a few days to come up with a decent excuse as to why he won’t pick Don Armand in his England squad for the upcoming Autumn Internationals. The Exeter back row has been in sparkling form of late, as he has been most of his career, and yet has failed to…