The International Arsehole Commission has confirmed that Cricket Australia is now at a level where everyone can refer to them as arseholes. Previous calls earlier in the test series, when David Warner was just being an arsehole on his own, had led a few sections of the population to declare the whole team as arseholes,…
Jones Wants Barnes To Ref All Of England’s Games
England Rugby are to approach World Rugby to see if Wayne Barnes can ref some, if not all, of their future games. In light of recent results, Eddie Jones is said to feel that Barnes could well penalise the opposition a bit more than England, therefore making them look a lot less shit than they…
Scottish People Still Finding Saturday Really, Really Funny
Things may be pretty much returning to normal south of the border but up in Scotland, people are still pissing themselves laughing when they think of what happened at Murrayfield on Saturday. Certain businesses are struggling to get a huge amount done, bus stops are erupting into fits of giggles, and shopkeepers are even reporting…
Jones To Fight Gatland at Halftime
Eddie Jones and Warren Gatland will fight each other at halftime in the game between England and Wales at Twickenham this weekend, the Six Nations is delighted to announce. In a unprecedented step, both country’s governing bodies have ratified the contest, the first officially recognised fight to take place between head coaches from opposing international…
UK Business Responds Badly to Six Nations Squad Announcement Week
UK Business Heads have declared this an ‘uncertain week’ as international head coaches announce their Six Nations rugby squads. Having already been weighed down by serious tosspottery in Europe and the impending self sodomy being exhibited in the US, business leaders have been handed another blow with the news that fuck all work is going…
Round 13 Review of the Aviva Premiership: Doormen, Turd Burgers and Lots and Lots of Brothers
Round 13 of the Aviva Premiership and The Crooked Feed’s acclaimed review returns like Luke Skywalker; shaggier, seemingly reluctant and much later than advertised.(Loving your Trump tweeting by the way Hamill, but it would be much more fun if you just twatted him with your lightsaber) Here’s six points from the weekend’s action – with…
Questions About Europe For English
The Italian Rugby Federation is among a growing group of people who are questioning the involvement of English teams in European Champions Cup Rugby. After a dire weekend for Aviva Premiership sides (which included seven losses against French, Irish and even Welsh opposition), their place in the competition has come under serious scrutiny. “Issa not…
Popular Jones Should Be In Charge Of Everything
Eddie Jones, the England Rugby Head Coach, should be put in charge of everything says one British MP. Ian Cornerflag is the Member of Parliament for Bishops Widget in Shropshire and has seen enough from the England Rugby Coach to suggest things would be a lot better with him in charge of pretty much everything….
Record Number Of Autumn International Ticket-holders Not Really That Bothered
Proper rugby fans who stand out in the cold on a wet Saturday afternoon watching terrible scrummaging are set to be left feeling bitter and indignant about the shit load of spectators who are about to pretend to be interested in the Autumn Internationals, The Crooked Feed can report. November has a whole host of…
Blaine Says He Wants To Know How Diamond Does it
David Blaine the magician and mind powers supremo has hailed Steve Diamond, the Director of Rugby of Sale Sharks, as something of a phenomenon. Speaking outside his Hollywood home, Blaine who has wowed the world with his general devilment and witchcraft, claimed that Diamond was someone he’d like to learn from. “Man, I’ve seen some…
Jones Struggling To Not Pick Armand
Eddie Jones has just a few days to come up with a decent excuse as to why he won’t pick Don Armand in his England squad for the upcoming Autumn Internationals. The Exeter back row has been in sparkling form of late, as he has been most of his career, and yet has failed to…
Round 6 of the Aviva Premiership – Knobheads, Noshing Off and Curry Sauce
We’ve coughed and spluttered our way through another round of the Aviva Premiership and we’re delighted to turn round and see that all the letters we put up are still in place. Here are four talking points we pinched from a popular TV programme and rehashed to make it seem like they are ours. So…
