Bristol Undertake Massive Signing

Bristol’s transfer boom continues after sources confirmed that none other than The Undertaker, who has recently retired from WWE, will join the Ashton Gate outfit for the 2017/18 season.

A scrawled note found outside Bristol’s training ground was handed to The Crooked Feed earlier this week and a handwriting expert has concluded that it might have been written by billionaire Bristol owner Steve Lansdown. The piece of paper has the names of some notable Bristol signings, as well as other rugby players from around the globe. Some have a line put through them, which probably denotes that those negotiations have not gone well; others have question marks, yet one name is conspicuously underlined and ticked.

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Even though it looks most likely that Bristol will spend next season in English Rugby’s second tier, the South West outfit have not been backwards in coming forward onto the transfer market. Amongst those already signed are Irish international Ian Madigan, Samoan Alapati Leuia, Aussie Luke Morahan and All Black Steven Luatua. And it looks like the man known previously as ‘The Phenom’ will join them.

Mark Calaway (The Undertaker’s real name) refused to comment when we approached him with the story but The Crooked Feed discovered from an online chatroom contributor known only as ‘Tomb$toneChoke5lam’, that Calaway probably played rugby at college in Texas.

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WWE fans were gutted to see their legendary hero step away from the ring earlier this month, but in a move not dissimilar to that of Johan Goosen and Denny Solomona, it looks as though The Undertaker will use ‘retirement’ to switch sports. The move from wrestling to rugby would be an unusual one but at 6’10” and 299lbs, ‘Deadman’ would be more than a useful crash ball specialist against the likes of Ealing Trailfinders and Rotherham.

Bristol Rugby Club wouldn’t be drawn on any future signings, but did reveal that their mega-rich owner was on holiday in Florida for the Easter break. Wrestlemania 33 also took place in the Sunshine State; 65,000 packed into the Camping World Stadium in Orlando to see The Undertaker lose to Roman Reigns in the Main Event. Small world eh? Yeah… We too can smell what Lansdown is cooking…

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