Eddie Wants Wayne Barnes To Ref All Of England’s Games

England Rugby are to approach World Rugby to see if Wayne Barnes can ref some, if not all, of their future games. In light of recent results, Eddie Jones is said to feel that Barnes could well penalise the opposition a bit more than England, therefore making them look a lot less shit than they are.

The RFU has become aware of a situation that happened at the weekend where a Romanian referee took charge of the Belgium v Spain match and basically allowed Romania to qualify for the World Cup.

“If that sort of deal is available, we’d be open to it,” said an RFU spokesman, messaging The Crooked Feed on WhatsApp. “Barnesy is a big patriot, loves England Rugby, and having him give us a bit of a leg up against Scotland, or say France, would have made the Ireland match a bit more fun. Barnesy would have definitely called that Finn Russell pass to Huw Jones back for being forward. It’s those sort of things that England are interested in.”

Wayne Barnes loves England and refereeing

The enquiry is said to have come about after Eddie Jones and his England team went through a Six Nations debrief. It is said to have lasted most of Monday, with a number of players and coaches getting the blame. But things took a sudden turn when Jones learnt of what had happened in Brussels.

“He had Jonny May by the throat, up against the wall,” our source continued, “But then Richard Wigglesworth approached him with the newspaper cutting that showed how Romania had qualified for the World Cup. Eddie started reading, everyone went dead quiet and then, after about a minute, Jones just marched out the room, the piece of paper in his hand, followed by Borthwick and Gustard. Many of the senior players just stood around looking each other not sure what to make of it all. I think George Ford ended up doing mouth to mouth on Jonny May.”

It remains to be seen if England can get one of their own to ref their matches. World Rugby recently reneged on a deal they’d struck for Marius van der Westhuizen to help England in training. The South African official was in England’s camp in the week leading up to the final Six Nations game, telling Eddie Jones’ men how they could beat the Irish. But was then pulled from touch judge duties at Twickenham by World Rugby, ruining all the secret codes they’d planned on using together.

England will find out what World Rugby think of their plan later on this week. They certainly need something. We’ve seen hedgerows with more attacking intent than that England outfit.

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