Carling Not Sure What To Do As England Train

Will Carling, the former England Rugby captain and suitor to the People’s Princess, Lady Di (rest in peace), has stood around well at England training this week, and generally nodded at the right times.

Carling has been brought in and been given an official tracksuit, which allows him to stand near the pitch that England are training on, but it remains to be seen if he actually knows what he is supposed to do. ‘Bumchin’, as he was affectionately known by the few people who liked him, watched England do some resistance training ahead of their match against Australia this weekend.

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Nowell and Daly were a little bit weirded out by the bloke who just stands by the training pitch watching them and smiling

Thomas Scapegoat, a media front to Eddie Jones’ England Team and now, subsequently, Will Carling, spoke about the expectations on the former international centre to The Crooked Feed via FaceTime.

“He’s here because he’s English. He used to be a soldier too, so that always plays well. A few of us were throwing the idea around and came up with the idea of bringing in an English soldier. One of the other guys suggested Simon Weston but we thought he might be a bit scary for George Ford and some of the lady physios. Then I was like, hang on, wasn’t Will Carling a soldier? And everyone was like ‘Yeah!’ and people started doing a little dance and we hugged. I sent Mr Jones an email and even though he didn’t reply, we spoke to some of the budgeting team and they said we could get Will. He’s an amazing role model for the younger guys. Having him talk about what it means to be English is going to be great. It wasn’t on the training schedule that was sent out to everyone but I’m sure we will squeeze it in somewhere. I mean, I’ve read what Brian Moore and Peter Winterbottom said but I think they’re just a bit jealous. It’s great for England and the team.”

As you can see, it is still not clear exactly what Carling will be doing but it looks as though the Australian Squad have got the shits so maybe it doesn’t really matter.

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