Jones Unsure Of Dan Robson’s Name

Eddie Jones is not 100% certain of other scrum-halves’ names after receiving criticism for playing Ben Youngs for too long in Six Nations matches. Youngs has played nearly every minute of all three England games, and when asked in a press conference about it, Jones showed that there’s only ever been one person on his…

Mitchell To Miss Training Because Of Huge Erection

John Mitchell, the current England Rugby defence coach, has had to withdraw from training this week because of problems he’s encountering with a large and constant erection. Following an incredible away win in Dublin, a huge amount of positive reaction has swept the way of the England team, and in particular Mitchell. Such an outpouring…

Jones To Ask Nowell Out On Proper Date

Eddie Jones is plucking up the courage to ask Jack Nowell out on a full blown date, The Crooked Feed understands. After dancing around the issue for several months now, England’s head honcho is preparing to pop the big question as the squad gets itself ready for the Six Nations opener against Ireland. Jones, 58,…

Carling Not Sure What To Do As England Train

Will Carling, the former England Rugby captain and suitor to the People’s Princess, Lady Di (rest in peace), has stood around well at England training this week, and generally nodded at the right times. Carling has been brought in and been given an official tracksuit, which allows him to stand near the pitch that England…

Bruce’s Balls The Wrong Shape

Bruce Craig, the well known friend of James Dyson, wants a different shaped ball with which to play Bath’s rugby matches. In a bold move, and following on from his request to replay the game against Toulouse because the ref got a few things wrong, Craig is claiming that the odd shaped ball that rugby…

Leinster To Make Love To Your Wife

Leinster Rugby Club are delighted to announce their own Concierge Service, The Crooked Feed can exclusively reveal. Off the back of their impressive win over Wasps in the Heineken Cup, the Irish Province feel it is the right time to launch their new ‘attendant’ business. ‘Leinster International Concierge Service’ will be run by the club,…

Leicester’s Got Talent

Leicester Tigers are excited to reveal, exclusive to The Crooked Feed, a brand new reality show called “Do You Wanna Have A Go?” Based on the likes of “Britain’s Got Talent” and “Masterchef”, the game will see the famous English rugby club turn to its fans to see if they would like to be Director…

World Rugby Takes Intentional Shit On American Soil

World Rugby’s plan to take horrendous games of rugby to the United States of America is now really starting to take shape. In a complicated, yet understandable, course of action, The Crooked Feed can now reveal that there is a coordinated attack on the American market. Twenty thousand unfortunate people gathered at the Robert F…

Stephen Jones A Bit Like Jesus

“He brings rugby fans together like no one else I know. I’m not sure he really knows the extent of his powers but he’s a bit like Jesus.” Those are the incredible words of Andre Crevice who is Head of Rugby Twitter and a man who knows exactly how to convey his meaning in less…

Eddie Wants Wayne Barnes To Ref All Of England’s Games

England Rugby are to approach World Rugby to see if Wayne Barnes can ref some, if not all, of their future games. In light of recent results, Eddie Jones is said to feel that Barnes could well penalise the opposition a bit more than England, therefore making them look a lot less shit than they…

Scottish People Still Finding Saturday Really, Really Funny

Things may be pretty much returning to normal south of the border but up in Scotland, people are still pissing themselves laughing when they think of what happened when Scotland beat England at Murrayfield on Saturday. Certain businesses are struggling to get a huge amount done, bus stops are erupting into fits of giggles, and…