Jones Unsure Of Dan Robson’s Name

Eddie Jones is not 100% certain of other scrum-halves’ names after receiving criticism for playing Ben Youngs for too long in Six Nations matches. Youngs has played nearly every minute of all three England games, and when asked in a press conference about it, Jones showed that there’s only ever been one person on his…

Jones To Ask Nowell Out On Proper Date

Eddie Jones is plucking up the courage to ask Jack Nowell out on a full blown date, The Crooked Feed understands. After dancing around the issue for several months now, England’s head honcho is preparing to pop the big question as the squad gets itself ready for the Six Nations opener against Ireland. Jones, 58,…

Bruce’s Balls The Wrong Shape

Bruce Craig, the well known friend of James Dyson, wants a different shaped ball with which to play Bath’s rugby matches. In a bold move, and following on from his request to replay the game against Toulouse because the ref got a few things wrong, Craig is claiming that the odd shaped ball that rugby…

Stephen Jones A Bit Like Jesus

“He brings rugby fans together like no one else I know. I’m not sure he really knows the extent of his powers but he’s a bit like Jesus.” Those are the incredible words of Andre Crevice who is Head of Rugby Twitter and a man who knows exactly how to convey his meaning in less…

Eddie Wants Wayne Barnes To Ref All Of England’s Games

England Rugby are to approach World Rugby to see if Wayne Barnes can ref some, if not all, of their future games. In light of recent results, Eddie Jones is said to feel that Barnes could well penalise the opposition a bit more than England, therefore making them look a lot less shit than they…

Scottish People Still Finding Saturday Really, Really Funny

Things may be pretty much returning to normal south of the border but up in Scotland, people are still pissing themselves laughing when they think of what happened when Scotland beat England at Murrayfield on Saturday. Certain businesses are struggling to get a huge amount done, bus stops are erupting into fits of giggles, and…

UK Business Responds Badly to Six Nations Squad Naming Week

UK Business Heads have declared this an ‘uncertain week’ as international head coaches announce their Six Nations rugby squads. Having already been weighed down by serious tosspottery in Europe and the impending self sodomy being exhibited in the US, business leaders have been handed another blow with the news that fuck all work is going…

Questions About Europe For English

The Italian Rugby Federation is among a growing group of people who are questioning the involvement of English teams in European Champions Cup Rugby. After a dire weekend for Aviva Premiership sides (which included seven losses against French, Irish and even Welsh opposition), their place in the competition has come under serious scrutiny. “Issa not…

Popular Jones Should Be In Charge Of Everything

Eddie Jones, the England Rugby Head Coach, should be put in charge of everything says one British MP. Ian Cornerflag is the Member of Parliament for Bishops Widget in Shropshire and has seen enough from the England Rugby Coach to suggest things would be a lot better with him in charge of pretty much everything….